The Road to Redemption
by nikolai.megatron
Summary: Begins with Ward being in a prison hospital and meeting Dr. Maddison Hartley who is hell bent on getting him a chance to redeem himself, the question is will he take it and will those he betrayed him allow him to have the chance. Rated M to be safe, There will be flashbacks of violence and abuse in later chapters.
1. Pain and Doctors

A/N:

I do not own anything to do with Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D however I do own the character Maddison Hartley

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><p>Pain that was what he noticed first; the holes in his feet where May had nailed him to the floor still throbbed. Every time he tried to breathe his larynx burned from the blow May had also delivered there. After getting used to the pain he heard the tell-tale beeping of a heart monitor, he then opened his eyes and had to squint due to the bright white lights that bore down onto him. Next he noticed someone walk through the door into his room in the hospital,<p>

"Hello Grant, my name is Doctor Maddison Hartley; I'm the head psychologist slash therapist here at the facility. It's my job to make sure that you receive the help that you need to recover; this will obviously start once your injuries to your feet and larynx have healed. I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that I am here for you."

Grant could only nod to her before she left through the door once again. _I wonder if she is really here to help me or to soften me up before they start to interrogate me for HYDRA secrets, what they don't understand is that I would willingly tell them all I know…_

Now that he had adjusted to the light grant had a look around his room, there wasn't too it other than what you would expect from a hospital room, until he looked at his bedside table, his breath caught as he saw a bunch of flowers sitting in a vase on top of the table, there was a card attached so he went to reach it but found that he was handcuffed to the bed. He sighed _I guess it makes sense I did just reveal that I had been a sleeper agent for the last eight months. But who in the world is sending me these flowers, certainly no one from the team would, they all hate me and there is no one else in my life hmm…_

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><p>Once Maddi had stepped outside of Grant's room she crossed over to where the nurses' station was and said, "Hi I'm Dr. Hartley, I'm going to be Mr Ward's therapist, I was wondering if you tell me a little bit about what the conditions of his injuries are and what you are expecting the recovery time to be?"<p>

The head nurse at the desk looked up and responded lazily, " Well I'm not sure how his injuries are today we are yet to visit him today, and anyhow it's not like he can tell us if anything is hurting anyway. In my opinion he is being treated better than what he deserves the traitorous scum that he is."

Maddi began to see red the longer the nurse spoke and when they had finished she had to stop herself from exploding in their face, she took a couple of deep breathes to calm herself down and then replied, "Well then why don't we go in and check them now, we can also ask about his pain level as well so we can make sure his medication is being delivered in the correct dosages."

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><p>When the nurse and Maddi went into the room they saw Ward looking over to the table at the flowers and the card trying to reach them but finding that he is chained to the bed. Maddi quickly walks over and says, "Grant, here would you like me to read the card to you so you know who it's from and what it says?"<p>

He looks up at Maddi and half squints at her as if deciding if he can trust her or not yet before nodding slowly. Maddi then picked up the card which had in huge writing GET WELL SOON on the front and read it for him,

_**Grant, **_

_**Daniel and I just heard that you were injured and in hospital, we wanted to say get well soon, and don't forget to call us this time, or at least write to us we've missed you so much.**_

_**Love as always,**_

_**Daniel and Lily**_

"So Grant, who are Lily and Daniel? And how do they know you?" Maddi asked not really sure how they knew Grant was here considering it had only been a week since the reveal. She could see that was tearing up after she had finished, so she said to him, would you like a pen and a piece of paper, that way you can communicate with us and then write to them after?

Again Grant half squinted not really sure if he trust her yet, but after a minute he nodded again, and when Maddi gave her the paper and pen and uncuffed his right hand he started to write. Once he had put down about whom Daniel and Lily were he picked up the piece of paper and gave it back to Maddi, whilst she read it he began writing again.

Maddi read the piece of paper that he had given her and it read

_**Maddi, is it ok if I call you Maddi and not Dr. Hartley? It's just I knew another Hartley and I may or may not have hurt them.**_

_**In regards to your question about Daniel and Lily they are my younger siblings, I haven't always been the best older brother to them, I was weak in my youth and they were hurt as a result. However, they seem to have forgiven me and want to get to know me again; I was wondering if I would be able to send them letters whilst I'm in here?**_

She got Grant's attention by tapping him on the shoulder and once he had looked up from his next letter she started talking "So Grant, first of all yes you can call me Maddi, I much prefer it to Dr. or Dr. Hartley so that fine. Next how old are Daniel and Lily, because I didn't see them on your file, I only saw your older brother Christian?" Maddi noticed how Grant flinched and then instantly hardened his expression she filed that away for when they actually do their sessions as something she needs to bring up but continues anyway, "And yes I will make sure that you are allowed to at least once a week write to them, however they will all have to be read by myself so that there is no classified information in them or any plans of escape."

Grant nods to her and reaches for the piece of paper that he gave her already so he can write answers to her questions. Once Maddi had given it back he took five minutes and then handed it back to her and kept writing his other letter whilst she read,

_**Thanks for letting me call you Maddi, for some reason, don't ask I can't explain it but I feel as though I can trust you. FYI I don't trust a lot of people so this is weird for me. **_

_**Well Daniel is four years younger than me so he is twenty six and Lily is another two years younger than that, so twenty four. The reason you don't see them on my file is that according to records they died ten years ago in a freak accident, I had to get them away from the rest of my family, this was the only way I could do it and it not raise questions later.**_

_**You can read them all you want but, and I know this is probably going to sound completely out of character for me but I don't want to escape, I deserve to be here, I have committed a lot of crimes over the years and this year in particular that I must pay for. The biggest of which and one I regret the most is betraying the team I was a part of. This is because I for the first time felt a part of a family and I threw it away and it is something that I can't fix either, the team will hate me and rightfully so.**_

This time Maddi had to let it all sink in _I can't believe how much he has been through already, he apparently had to save two siblings from his family again I am going to have to ask him about that once his voice is back. He also just believe he should rot in jail but I won't have that by the looks of it he is remorseful but won't seek out a chance for redemption, I think he would take one though if presented with it._

She then tapped Grant on the shoulder again to let him know she had finished reading, he looked up and she instigated "Your very welcome Grant and thank you for trusting me even if it is weird for you, I won't ask you about your family until you have your voice back in…" Maddi looked over to the nurse who held up three fingers and made an M next to it, "… three months but by then I hope that you will open up to me about them. Also I am still going to visit twice a week but I'll bring a whiteboard for you to write on for me that way you can just erase and write."

Grant again just nodded and looked happy when she said she was coming back, so she continued "Also I wanted to ask what your pain level is, and before you say your fine or don't tell me at all I will bump up your meds more than you probably need so answer honestly."

He considered this for a moment before holding up four fingers, she just smiled and looked over to the nurse and said well I'll take that as a six so can you adjust the meds accordingly, the nurse just nodded before leaving the room.

"Ok Grant well I have to go now but I'll be back in a couple of days so get some rest and I'll see you then." Maddi finished and then left the room.

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><p>AN:

So that's the first chapter out of the way hope you enjoyed it, please review and let me know if I've made any glaring mistakes


	2. Finding a Voice

A/N: I Do not own AOS or any of the characters, my characters are Daniel and Lily as well as Maddi.

Also thanks for the support already, I hope you are enjoying it.

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><p>As the weeks rolled by Grant and Maddi continued to converse using written notes and as promised Maddi did bring a whiteboard, markers and a cloth so that he could write his responses to her questions or even to ask some of his own occasionally. He also wrote letters to Daniel and Lily every week, lately he had been writing them individual letters and had found out that both had since he last saw them had married and Daniel had a two year old son as well named Samuel.<p>

It was during one of their sessions together after only ten weeks, which was at least two weeks before he should have been able to but Grant rasped out a few words which took Maddi by surprise

"Thank you" was all he managed at first and when Maddi questioned

"What for?" and looked up at Grant startled but happy that he had found his voice but uncertainty then flitted across her face. He responded, again his voice coarse due to not being used in so long,

"Thank you for being here, for helping me, for letting write to my family."

"You don't have to thank me for any of that Grant, I do care about you and I do want to see you get better, because if given the right guidance and given the opportunity I believe you could be the better man you clearly want to be." Maddi returned, however she didn't miss how his eyes lost their shine when she said he could be better. However she continued "But first Grant, let's get you some crushed ice and some water for that throat of yours so that you aren't wearing it out on the first day." He nodded when she said she was going to get the ice and then pulled out his pad of paper and began writing once she had left.

Maddi after leaving his room went straight to the ice machine and took a cup and placed some ice in the cup, then walked over to the vending machine and bought two bottles of water and started back towards his room, she was halfway there when she saw someone not in hospital clothing walking into Grant's room, she hastened towards the door but stopped outside when she heard the voice of the woman talking to him.

"Oh Grant, what did you do this time…" it wasn't what she was saying that got her attention it was how it was being said, it was a loving but a little not quite disappointed but worried tone that Maddi heard, "… who were you trying to protect now, you always do this, you don't care about your own safety, all you do is make sure everyone else is ok. You haven't changed at all since we were kids have you?"

"Lily, it's nice to see you too, come here so I can get a good look at you, it's been so long, ten years without seeing you was torture." Grant choked out,

Lily gasped at how he sounded and rushed over to him and gave him a hug, "Don't think I didn't notice how you dodged by question, I will ask someone what happened even if you don't tell me." She threatened. it was at this point that Maddi decided to knock on the door and walk in, both Grant and Lily's heads snapped up and when Grant saw it was Maddi he visibly relaxed, this took Lily by surprise and she looked between the two of them sceptically, " Grant what's going on here, you never relax like that when someone walks into the room, who is she, did you get hitched too and didn't tell us?" she asked in mock anger, Grant who had just been given the ice and water by Maddi nodding his thanks to her, and taking a sip choked on it and had sprayed water everywhere.

He stared at his sister mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, he looked like this for a minute or so before Maddi answered for him, "No Lily, we are not 'hitched' as you say; I am just his therapist, and a friend I would like to hope."

Grant sent her a look of thanks but before he could say anything Lily jumped in and rounded onto Grant "Therapist, what do you need a therapist for?" Grant looked over at Maddi, as if asking if he is allowed to say anything and when she nods he sighs in relief but also dread,

"Lily, what I am about to tell you cannot leave this room ok, and you are not going to like what I have to say either." When Lily had agreed that she wouldn't tell anyone what he said he continued, "For the last ten years I have worked for S.H.I.E.L.D, I was a specialist that meant that I was someone that got the hard missions done, if that meant taking someone out I did…"

Lily's eyes were widening the longer he was talking about his involvement with S.H.I.E.L.D, however she couldn't believe it when he said "but Lily the worst thing is that's not the why I'm here, I'm here because I am a traitor, I am not a good man, I betrayed the team I was with, a team that I had come to consider like the family we always wanted.

"No Grant you can't be I can't believe that" Lily exclaimed and with that she got up to leave, when she was at the door she turned back and said, "I still love you Grant and even if all that you just said is true, I will still love you. Remember that."

After Lily's visit Grant was deemed to be healthy enough to be transferred into a prison cell instead of the hospital, he found that the solitude was relaxing, he was finally able to get back into a routine for a workout, he would spend time every morning when he woke up to do push up, sit ups and other exercises that got him back into good physical shape, he was even allowed in the gym that the prison had whilst no other inmates were there and went for the treadmill initially so that his aerobic fitness returned and then spent time on the weights. After four weeks of workouts and leaving to visit Maddi in her office to continue working through his issues, he had started to open up to her about his childhood and how he had been treated and how he wasn't always the best older brother he could be to Daniel and Lily, neither of which had come back to visit him again.

It was during one of the sessions with Maddi in her office that the most difficult question so far was approached by her, they were just talking casually about how his letters were going, how his weights and exercises were going when Maddi asked "So Grant I think it is time we talked about your first SO, John Garrett don't you?"

Grant tensed at the mention of Garrett but nodded because he knew that this would come up eventually, Maddi had been teaching him about the difference between healthy and non-healthy relationships, and what they look like, and as such he knows now that Garrett had played him, made him think that he owed Garrett his life when really he had continued the abuse he had gotten as a child just in another form. Grants voice was back to normal by now but wavered slightly as he asked Maddi "What would you like to know about him?"

Maddi was a little taken aback by how willing Grant was to talk about Garrett, but she doesn't really question it because she is going to make the most of it while he is being so open and upfront about it, "Well why don't you start at the beginning and we'll work through the various stages and points of your relationship with him. We can reflect on how you felt at those times and how you feel about those stages now."

Again Grant nodded his agreement and began retelling his story, he started with how he was shipped off to military school at fifteen and how he had gotten a letter from Daniel saying that lily was in hospital, that Christian (Grant's older, abusive brother) had hurt her again. He said that he had gone home that night after stealing a car and set fire to the house, he hadn't know that Christian was in the house till after when he was back at the military school and the police arrested him. He went on to say that he was in Juvie and that his parents were filing charges and that Christian was pushing for him to be tried as an adult. That's when Garrett showed up, offered him a choice (one that he only had ten seconds to make mind you) that was either stay in prison blaming the world for his problems or to go with Garrett and he could learn how to be a man. Garrett had said that it would be the hardest thing he had ever done but it would also be the most fun.

At this stage Maddi asked him to take a breath and to think about how he had felt at this stage with John, Grant took a moment before saying, "Honestly I thought he was the greatest person alive, he was the first person to genuinely care or so I thought. He saved me from a hell, however it wasn't until you started to teach me about how people should be treated that I saw that this was just the beginning of me trading one hell for another."

Maddi thought about this_ so not only has he actually been listening and learning when we have talked before without me even prompting him he has been analysing probably most of his other relationships as well. After we finish talking about Garrett I will have to ask him if he has given those relationships thought or not._

Maddi then asked grant to continue in his story about Garrett, after he saved him Grant said that Garrett had taken him to a forest in the middle of Wyoming and left him there with nothing more than a dog called Buddy for six months. When he got back he would teach Grant things and when he got things wrong he would be punished by being beaten, Grant stopped here without Maddi asking and said "At the time I felt as though I deserved to be hit, that I was disappointing John, I at the time had come to think of his as the father I never had, one that cared." He then went on to say that he ended up living in the forest for five years with John making stop ins randomly to check up on him and to teach him new things. Once he was twenty Garrett took him into an S.H.I.E.L.D base and told him to apply for the Operations Division of the Academy and that he would get in and that he would be working for him. Grant said that he knew about Hydra before going in to the Academy that John had told him that he was with them, he wasn't a full on believer per se but they had helped when S.H.I.E.L.D wouldn't. As a result Grant was working for Hydra before he even started at S.H.I.E.L.D and was a sleeper. He said that he didn't believe in Hydra at all that he was just following John.

Maddi asked him once he was finished what he thought now, Grant responded by saying "The first time that I ever felt like I genuinely belonged still wasn't with John, no the first time I belonged and felt like I was part of a family, that I could be happy was when I was asked to be a part of the team that Phil Coulson put together."

"I'm glad you brought that up Grant because that's what I wanted to talk about next, the team."

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><p>AN: So that's chapter 2 done, I hope you enjoyed it I know there wasn't a great deal of going on, these also aren't the flash backs mentioned in the summary those will some later.

Let me know what you guys have thought so far, let me know it there are areas you think I can improve on I know I am far from perfect at writing the stories and yeah just review it for me :)


	3. Who's Watching

AN: Still Don't own any of these characters except for Maddi, everything else is owned by Marvel.

Also so sorry about my absence of updates but work over the Christmas break has been mental hope to be updating a little more regularly now :)

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><p>Previously in The Road to redemption:<p>

_Grant has been moved from the Hospital to the Prison after a visit from his sister Lily and being deemed well enough to do so, Grant returns to a routine of sorts, working out in his cell and in the prison gym whilst no other inmates are present. Grant is also spending time with Maddi not only talking about what he has done but Maddi is also teaching him about what normal relationships are like. She then asks the tough questions about Garrett and the team... _

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

_"I'm glad you brought that up Grant because that's what I wanted to talk about next, the team."_

Grant froze when Maddi asks the question, he doesn't know what to do with that _I can't talk about them, not yet it still hurts too much, I'm a monster for what I did to that team._ He gulped and opened his mouth once, twice three times each time closing it before he could speak. Maddi could see that unlike with Garrett Grant seemed to be less than willing to talk about Director Coulson's team, she saw that he was conflicted, struggling internally about whether or not he should talk about them and instead of pushing her luck she said "Grant," he paused in his thinking and looked up to her," we don't have to do this all in one day you know? I can come back tomorrow and we can pick up where we left off ok." She smiled to him as she stood and then opened the door so that the guards could come in and take him back to his cell.

Once he had left Maddi made a note in her file for Grant, _**Shows willingness to accept punishment for his "crimes" and is willing to talk about most of his past, his childhood and his years with John Garrett as a teenager. He also has displayed regret for his betrayal of his team; it is in my opinion that he still portrays himself as a monster for what he did to that team. I also believe that this is the cause for his **__**unwillingness **__**to address the issue of his team. Grant has returned himself to a routine of sorts; he has been working out within the confines of his cell and in the prison gym (whilst no one else is present except for the guards). Having a routine and orders appears to be what settles him the most; I don't think he has ever been given a choice about his life and what he wants.**_

Maddi puts her pen down, stretches, puts her hands behind her head and sighs; **I think it is about time that we start asking Grant what he wants in life.**

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><p>Once Grant had been returned to his cell he waited for the guards to leave and remove his hand cuffs before dropping to the floor to do an extra set of his workout routine, he needed to clear his head; his talk with Maddi had rattled him. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk about what had happened and to get everything off his chest but, he couldn't, not yet anyway. He was halfway through his v-ups when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye that he wasn't there when he left this morning, he saw a tiny camera mounted into the corner of the wall and the ceiling. The only reason he noticed now was that there was the tiniest blinking red light. This caused himself to furrow his brow and go over and inspect it. Little did he know just who was watching him?<p>

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><p>"Sir, he's discovered the camera." The agent told him,<p>

"How is that possible, I was told that the camera is near impossible to detect, its size alone should have hidden it, and the colour matched that of the walls and ceiling." He replied angrily.

"Well what we failed to realise is that even after all this time and his time spent in the hospital and prison that he still has his impossibly good spatial awareness, this coupled with the fact that we believe that he is still incredibly suspicious of everything led to him finding it." The agent replied shakily, obviously scared of the man before him.

"Well then, this is rather intriguing I wonder if this ability is because of his childhood or from what Garrett did to him."

"We aren't sure yet sir, but from what I have been told, he is talking to a shrink from the prison, it is unclear what has been said though."

"Hmm that is indeed troubling, I think we had better be on the safe side and eliminate the threat. See to it that Mr. Ward cannot be spilling any of our secrets."

"Yes sir I will get onto it immediately."

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><p>Meanwhile…<p>

Grant was pacing his room his mind racing _is this Maddi or was it someone else? Who else would want to keep an eye on him? Coulson maybe making sure I am serving my time, that was the best case scenario of external sources the alternative concerned him greatly, it could be HYDRA making sure he didn't talk, he decided that he would have to ask Maddi about it._

Grant stopped his pacing and walked over to the door to his cell and knocked on it, he waited for the guard to appear and asked if he could speak with Maddi, the guard nodded and left to go and get her, Grant then waited patiently on his cot and thought about the repercussion of both SHIELD and HYDRA watching him.

When he heard his door opening he glanced up to see a confused Maddi looking towards him, "Grant what's up it's only been an hour since we last met, what did you want to talk about?"

For Maddi this was quite confusing she didn't know what he would want to talk now that he couldn't before. Grant just stood up and asked in an extremely serious voice however she could see hints of betrayal and hurt in his eyes which confused her further,

"Maddi did you ask for the camera to be placed into my cell?"

Maddi didn't know what he was talking about, "What camera?" she asked,

So Grant moved over to the corner of the room and pointed to the camera and returned, "This one, because if it wasn't you then there are two options neither are very appealing to me."

Maddi had to strain her neck to see the small device but once she had she replied, "Grant I did not know about any camera being put in here, but what options are you talking about who would want to watch you?" She saw him visibly relax for a brief moment when she told him it had nothing to do with her, she attributed this to that he had trusted her and if she had done it he would have been used again.

"Well at least it wasn't you he smiled at this but then his face returned to one of complete seriousness, the options are 1. SHIELD making sure I'm fulfilling my sentence, which by the way they needn't because I know I deserve it. The other is HYDRA could be watching if this is the case then we have something to be concerned about, they would be concerned that I am revealing secrets about them. Honestly I think it is the latter, which means they are watching this and running around planning to eliminate me." Grant replied gravely.

Maddi couldn't believe what she was hearing, how someone could have gotten the camera here was troubling her, and then she thought it must have been when she was talking to him this morning. "Well grant can you reach the camera and either remove it or destroy it," she watched as he effortlessly reached up, jumped and swatted the camera, shattering it into a million pieces. Then she thought **well if it was during our session this morning that means that the person responsible is a guard. This is not good having a traitor possibly within our ranks I am going to have to sort all of this out.**

She turned to him again and said "Grant I'm going to get to the bottom of this, I'll ask SHIELD if they put the camera in just to be safe ok?"

He nodded and turned back and laid himself out on his cot as she left the room and contemplated what she had said.

_Thank god Maddi had nothing to do with this, I'm not sure that I could have handled it if she was, because I was just coming to trust her as well, she is the first person I have ever known that has accepted the real me for who I am. Although that might be because she is the first I have ever let see the real me I think Skye would have… no I can't think about her, she believes that I am a monster, I destroyed her, took away whatever innocence she had left._

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><p>It wasn't until later that night that he knew something was wrong, he hadn't done anything different today, but all of a sudden he was feeling terrible, his head was spinning and he barely made it to the toilet before he vomited everywhere, that when he knew what had happened, it must have been the food he had for dinner and that made everything clear. Hydra had been the ones to watch him, they had poisoned his food, and they were trying to kill him.<p>

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><p>The next morning Maddi decided to go with the guards to collect Grant so that she could make sure no one could get to him, she had talked to Phil and he was adamant that they hadn't put any camera into the cell. When she got there she could tell something was wrong, normally this was the time he worked out, and she had been told that at this time he was straining himself and would start to make noise during his workout. But all she could here was silence, she told the guard to let her in immediately. Once she was in she couldn't see him anywhere, she went to check the toilet cubicle and gasped as she found grant passed out on the floor, it didn't even look like he was breathing.<p>

"Grant!" she all but screamed rushing over to him, she yelled for the guard to help her get him to the infirmary, they quickly got him there and she waited for the doctor to say that he was going to be OK but that he had been poisoned.

She walked outside at this point and pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number that she had hoped could have waited for another few months at least.

"_Hello" the voice on the other end answered._

"It's time, he was poisoned last night, its HYDRA, and we need to move him now before he wakes up." She replied.

"_OK we can be there in about two hours, make sure he is still unconscious when we get there." Came the voice._

"OK I'll see you then." Maddi replied and hung up the phone, she was going to need to get the doctors to sedate him for the next five or six hours."

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><p>AN: So that's it for another chapter sorry about the delay work has been nuts lately. anyway you guys know the drill by now please review let me know what you guys think about it so far :)<p> 


	4. Beep-Beep-Beep

A/N: Hey Guys it feels good to be able to get a second chapter out in a week, I would like to say a huge thanks to all those who have read so the story far, the support has been huge so thank you. To Kajtena, thank you for the review, tell me what you think about this, and whether this is what you thought.

Again as always I still do not own any the characters present aside from Maddi.

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><p><em>Beep… Beep… Beep<em>

That was all that Grant could hear when he started to regain consciousness, immediately he thought _this is a weird thing for hell, that is where I am right, I mean I died in that prison, why is it soft and comfortable and what is that beeping, it's going at the same time as my heart… wait that means I'm alive but how? I was poisoned, I died in prison._ With that there was a shuffling around in the room and he strained to listen.

"_**He's waking up, go and get everyone else, they'll all want to be here when he finally does wake up properly."**_

_I know that voice but where from, it was not Maddi, and she's the only person that actually wants to speak to me_ Grant thought to himself. He was getting more confused with every passing minute, once he heard the door open and close meaning that one of the people had left the room he heard the first speak again,

"_**You do know that, I know you're awake and can hear me and have been for the last couple of minutes? **_

Grant opened his eyes and let himself get adjusted to the harsh fluorescent lights above him before he settled his vision upon someone he thought that he would never see again,

"_**Hello Grant, you know I never believed them when they told me you were Hydra until I watched your confession at the hospital, I never thought that someone would be able to deceive me. I thought we were friends Grant, more than friends for a while, was any of it real?"**_

"_Nat, I'm sorry, I never meant for you to find out like this, actually I had hoped to never have this conversation, but I've seen over the last few months with the help of Maddi, my shrink, that whilst I made bad choices, which I completely accept full responsibility for, that I want to try and make up for those things. So I think the first step that I have to take is to apologize for not being honest with you, we are friends Nat or at least before I screwed everything up we were, but the person I was with you was real, I didn't deceive you I didn't have to act, you made me feel comfortable."_ Grant was shifting uncomfortably the whole time however he forced himself to look her in the eye the whole time, he owed her that much.

As luck would have it that's when the doors to his room opened up and Grant's jaw just dropped when he saw who was walking through it, it was the rest of the freaking Avengers, first was Steve Rodgers, then Clint Barton, Thor, Bruce Banner, lastly Tony Stark, even Nick Fury walked in but last it was with a sigh of relief that Maddi walked in and shut the door.

Grant was completely at a loss at what to say; he was looking between all of them nervously waiting for someone to say something, after what seemed forever it was Clint that spoke first,

"_So how are you feeling kid?"_

Grant had to do a double take after that,

"_What do you mean?"_

"_**I mean are you alright? Someone did just poison you, you know."**_

"W_ell yeah I do and I'm ok I guess, but what I don't understand is why all of you are here, I'm not that dangerous anymore, I'm not going to try and break out of wherever I am and go on a rampage or anything."_

At that everyone in the room just smiled, if anything this made Grant even more nervous, next it was Fury that spoke,

"_**Ward we know damn well that you aren't going on a so called 'rampage' Dr. Hartley has told us everything that you've told her in your time in the hospital and in the prison, what we are here to do is offer you a chance."**_

"_A chance sir? A chance for what exactly?" _ Grant asked, not really sure what he could have possibly meant, whilst going a deep shade of red when Fury had said that Maddi had told them everything.

"_**Well to start with I thought a chance to be someone better would be fair, what do you say Barton?" Nick Boomed**_

"_**Yeah that sounds about right... to start with anyway." He supplied with a shrug.**_

"_**Rodgers what about you, do you thinks that he deserves a chance?" Fury moved on asking Steve,**_

"_**Yes sir," he easily responded then turned turned to Grant, "You know Ward whilst I am not completely sure that anyone forgives you yet, we understand that what you did isn't completely you fault ok."**_

"_**OK well that makes it 3-Ward gets a chance 0-he goes back to prison. So banner what about you, you good for giving the boy a chance?"**_

"_**Well after being on the receiving end of some not so pleasant circumstances myself I reckon that he deserves a chance to be better."**_

_Grant could not believe what he was hearing all of these people, these heroes were up and giving him a chance, a chance to help him get better and to be better. He was so wrapped up in his head in fact that he missed Tony also agreeing that he warranted a chance, in fact he was only brought back to the room when he heard Fury ask Nat if she thought he could have a chance, and without realizing it he drew in a breath, he then realized that out of all of the people in the room this was the opinion that mattered the most to him, Natasha was the one that he had personally hurt, she was the one that he wanted to make it up to the most in the room._

_So when he looked over to her and she looked undecided like she wanted to give him a chance but at the same time was wary of giving him the chance in case he hurt her again._

"_**Well sir, out of all of us I am finding this the most difficult because Grant and I have a history together, and I won't lie it hurt when I found out that he was Hydra but then when I heard what he had gone through I was more angry at myself that I didn't notice what Garrett had done and was still doing to him even when we were together I didn't notice-"**_

At this stage Grant cut in he was not about to up and let Nat take any of the blame for his mistakes,

"_Nat, it is definitely in no way your fault, it was meant to pass under your notice, when he hit me he made sure it was during a mission so that there was an excuse, a way to pass it off."_

"_**Grant I still should have seen it!" She yelled at him, "We lived together for like two whole years, and not once did I question the bruises or the cuts or any of the wounds you got, what sort of person am I to let this happen."**_

"_Nat I know exactly what sort of person you are, y__ou are pretty much one of the best people I know, you took me under your wing when i first left the academy, a lot of the skills I have are because of you, so you have to forgive yourself because I have never, not once blamed anyone else for any of the thing that I CHOSE to do, this was always my mess, but I want so badly to make it right, if you give me the chance I know I can be better." _Grant responded, there was so much emotion running through him, he never got like this he had been taught to compartmentalize his feelings, that feelings were a major weakness, Garrett had spent weeks beating it out of him, at this one or two of his ribs started to tingle a bit, as if they were responding to the memory.

"_**Well Fury, I know what it is like to have red in my ledger and have the burning desire to try and make up for it, so yes I think that he needs this chance." Natasha continued, she was never not going to give him a chance, yes he had hurt her but she wanted so much to believe that he was good when he was with her.**_

"_**Good so everyone is in agreement then you are to be given the chance to right your wrongs, however just so you know, firstly your old team won't know about this, at least until a few things have been sorted anyway. Also you are to recover from your poisoning, and I will know, the doctors will update me daily about your condition. Then spend a few weeks training again, getting back into shape and then afterwards you will mainly be on Romanov, Barton and Rogers team taking down Hydra cells for a start but you will also help all of us out at different times for different things alright." Fury explained, his one good eye focused on Grant the whole time, letting him know that at the moment he was the most important part of this conversation.**_

"_Yes sir I understand, I have a question though?"_

"_**Yes Ward"**_

_"Where the bloody hell am I sir?" _At this everyone one in the room began to chuckle, finding it humorous the direct, straight to the point nature of the question.

"_**Well, you're in my tower in New York of course." Tony stated as if it were obvious, still laughing as he said so.**_

Grant then began to yawn, the full effect of waking up from sedation and being involved in such a heavy conversation hitting him, he then fully realized that he would need to rest and get some real sleep as he was coming out of the sedation from the poisoning. He then spoke up looking at everyone in turn,

"_Um I would like to thank you all for being so nice and agreeing to give me a chance even if I don't think that I fully deserve it, but this has been draining, so um I'm going to try and get some rest."_

With that everyone left this room all saying goodbye, telling him that he did actually deserve a second chance. He was also given a handshake as well from all of the guys, Nat who gave him a hug and Maddi who also gave him a hug but also a squeeze to the hand. Once the room was empty Grant began counting the beeps of his heart monitor and began to drift off into the best sleep he had had in years.

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><p>The next few days passed in a blur for Grant he spent them in the bed in Stark Tower, he was visited everyday by all of the Avengers and by Maddi, he was still overwhelmed by the support that they were giving him, he was convinced that this must be part of some dream and that he would wake at any moment and realise that he was back in prison dying.<p>

It wasn't until a week later that when he was talking to Maddi, he had been allowed out of bed by now so was sitting on the couch watching a movie with her when he asked a question that he had been toying with since he woke up,

"_So Maddi," he began,_

"_**Hmm," she replied,**_

"_Why did you call fury or whoever it is that you called to bring me here?"_

"_**Grant this was always the plan, for you to be brought here and be given the chance to redeem yourself, the attack on you just brought forward our timeline a bit.' She said smiling back at him,**_

"_Always part of the plan, so how long have you been working for Fury then?" Grant asked her, not really sure if he was following what she meant. _

"_**Pretty much my whole career, used to be one of the SHIELD shrinks before the fall, however, when Fury asked me to work with you and see if there was something worth saving I jumped at the chance." Maddi explained patiently understanding that Grant was slow to trust and he would continually need to be reassured. **_

"_Why though? What did you see in me that made you believe that I could be salvaged or redeemed?" Grant asked tentatively not really understanding what he had done to warrant such belief._

"_**Grant I won't say that everyone always deserves a second chance because they don't, but you, you deserve this chance, you have been abused your while life, and when you thought that John took you away from that hell you believed that you owed the man everything, you were psychologically tortured then by having all human contact bar him removed. So Grant that is what I saw in you, that is what made me give you a chance." Maddi replied a lot of different emotion passed over her face and Grant noticed this, he always noticed when her expression would change.**_

"_Thank you Maddi for being honest with me, I don't agree with everything you've said, but know that I want to, and that I will try." Grant replied a tear starting to form in his eyes._

Just then Clint and Steve walked in and came up to Grant,

"_**Hey kid, you ready to start training again, with me and Steve of course?" Clint grinned as he spoke knowing that Grant had been itching to do something physical for the last week.**_

"_Yeah that would be great just give me a minute to go change and grab my stuff, I'll meet you guys here in like five minutes." Grant instantly replied grinning himself at the fact that finally he could do something ton burn all of this nervous energy that had been building up over the week. He had been super bored so he was going to give this workout his all._

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><p>AN: So that's it for another chapter, this perhaps took a turn in a direction not expected? So as always thanks for reading and please send through your review, I love hearing the feedback for what I have written.


	5. Symbols and Code names

AN: Hey guys thanks for all the support so far its been fun writing this story so and and I like how its going so far, but I really appreciate all the review I get so if you like or don't like anything that I have written let me know but all i ask is that you keep it constructive criticism.

And as always I still do not own Agents of SHIELD, its characters or any characters from the Marvel universe.

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><p>"Oomph"<p>

Grant grunted from landing on the mats again, this was becoming a disturbingly recurrent theme over the last 3 weeks. He picked himself up, he was drenched in sweat and he had only been here for about thirty minutes, this was something else that alarmed him, it showed just how badly out of conditioning he had allowed himself to get. He pushed all of that to the back of his mind as he focused on how he was going to try to overcome Nat who was bouncing on the balls of her feet, almost toying with him. He feinted going left with a jab but instead sidestepped her attempt of a counter and placed her in a hold, he then dropped both of them to the floor and used his height and weight to his advantage and pinned her. He held this until she tapped out and then released, he was pulled from going in for another assault by Fury walking in and shouting across the gym,

"_**Alright you two that's enough," before he turned to face Grant directly, "alright Ward you're up we have a cell that needs taking down and you will be leading the strike team."**_

"_Yes Sir, which one is it?" _Grant asked, excited that he was finally being allowed to go on an active mission.

"_**This may be a little raw for you at the moment kid but we found one in woods in the middle of Wyoming." **_**Fury answered, he noticed how both Grant and Romanov flinched a little at the mention of Wyoming but he continued anyway, "There is a briefing upstairs in the main room in fifteen minutes make sure you are both there."**

Fury then left the two of them and went to get the others that would need to be involved in this mission.

Natasha walked over to Grant and gently took his hand in hers and asked _**"Hey, are you going to be OK with going back? I know that this is going to be hard, having to go back and see those woods."**_

Grant smiled and gently squeezed her hand to let her know that he appreciated how she had read his visual cues and came and held his hand when he needed it. Then in a voice full of conviction he told her, _"Nat, I'm not going to lie, this is going to be really hard for me to do. For one I never thought that I would have to go back, those woods are not my best memories. Those woods are where I was taken apart and reassembled into a cold hearted killer, but the way I see it is that where better for me to start, to rid myself of maybe the biggest demons I have, it's fitting I believe."_

To say that Natasha was surprised by Grant's outlook on the mission would have probably been one of the understatements of the year, she had honestly thought that Grant would do anything to avoid going back into the woods.

"_**Well then we had better get cleaned up and go to the briefing, it would not be a good impression to be late for your first mission now would it?"**_

Grant had to suppress a chuckle at that, but they both went to their respective rooms in search of a quick shower and a fresh change of clothes.

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><p>Meanwhile somewhere over the middle of the Pacific Ocean<p>

'Ding'

Skye jumped when she heard that her laptop had finished analyzing the data she had put into it, she leapt from her bunk and put her laptop under her arm. She then rushed down to Coulson's office on the BUS; they were on their way back to the Playground after a mission. They had gone to see if a gifted was willing to join SHIELD, however when they got there they discovered that Hydra had the same idea but got there first and had made him comply. After they had learned this Skye was forced into taking a kill shot from the rooftop to save both Hunter and Bobbi because they were about to be killed by the gifted.

As Skye thought about the mission she remembered a conversation with someone that she was trying desperately to forget.

_Skye… what I have done was wrong sire enough, but if you think about it, how many people do you think I killed for SHIELD versus how many I did for Hydra, I will give you a hint the scales are pretty heavy on the SHIELD side. So tell me what makes those I had to kill for SHIELD worth lesser in terms of evil than those for Hydra? And you have to realise by now that May, Coulson, Tripp, they have all killed just as many if not more in the case of Coulson and May that I have, so does that make you hate them as well or just me, if just me why, what ,makes what they have done any better than me?_

She shuddered from the memories of him that she tries to suppress, that did not however stop her from beginning to understand his argument, she had killed today, how can she say she is better that him if there is now very little difference between them. Because the act of killing Skye had thought would be a lot harder than what it was, this is what had her concerned the most, was she turning into him, following orders without stopping to think what the consequences would be. She pushed these thoughts to the back of her mind however when she reached Coulson's office, she knocked and heard,

"Enter" from the other side of the door and walked in, she had found something about the carvings and symbols that Coulson had been seeing and she needed to tell him about it.

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><p>Stark Tower, NYC<p>

Grant was surprised to see that he was not the last to arrive into the briefing room (lounge), he was followed in by Steve and Clint, but Nat was already there sitting and waiting on the couch, drinking what appeared to be vodka.

Fury waited for everyone to be seated on the couch before he began, _**"Right so, this is what we know, Hydra have a base, a base located in the middle of the Wyoming woods…"**_ at this everyone looked over to Grant who looked to have tensed a little but otherwise looked unaffected by the fact they were going straight back to the hell where he was finally broken and put back together by Garrett. _**"… And yes we believe that the base is approximately where you were abandoned Grant fifteen years ago. Now as all of you know this will be his first mission back in the field for us and I know that he will be affected in some way,"**_ Grant started to protest before Fury held up his hand to silence him, _**"don't deny it Grant it would be impossible to not be affected going back there, but I have faith in you and this team to get the job done."**_

A voice from the corner had everyone jumping except for Grant, _**"Grant are you sure you're completely ready for this?" **_

Everyone but Grant turned to face the voice, and Maddi stepped out and repeated the question,

"_**So Grant are you sure you're ready for this?" **_

However Natasha turned to Grant and said _**"How long had she been standing there?"**_

Grant shrugged and said _"She leant against the wall as soon as Fury started to talk, so I would say from there?"_ he asked Maddi at the end who just nodded to say that he had it right.

"_Also Maddi, and everyone else for that matter, yes I am ready, I've explained this to Nat already,"_ he smiled and held her hand_, "What better place for me to start helping you guys than somewhere I know the terrain so well I could almost navigate it blind folded, but it is also where I can shed a good portion of my demons as well, it will give me a sense of cleansing or redemption if you will by taking down that place."_

At this everyone nodded their agreement however they were still amazed that Grant had known Maddi had entered the room solely based on her leaning against the wall. A lot of them especially Nat and Fury realised that he must have developed that skill whilst he was in those woods as well.

Fury then went on to say _**"Well now that we know that Grant is prepared and ready to do this operation, we now have to construct him a code name/ alias, like your Black Widow, Captain America etc. etc. what does everyone think it should be?"**_

Everyone in the room looked at Fury, then to each other and finally to Grant before they all took a few moments to think about it, Steve was the first to speak and contribute a name,

"_**Well I know I don't really know you that well but what about 'Black Shot'? Because you know, you wear black most of the time and you are a pretty damn good shot."**_ There was a few nods around the room understanding where Steve was coming from, then all of them fired off some names, Clint suggested 'Cold Shot', Natasha went with 'Black Death' and finally Maddi went with 'Shadow Gaze'.

Then Grant looked to everyone and said, _"I think that all of your ideas are pretty good but I think my name should be 'Shadow Strike', I think it is more fitting both my persona and my skillset, I have always had a shadowy past, and I always were black. Also my main skillset is hand to hand combat and firearms, therefore the strike can be for either."_

Again nods went around the room however this time they also all said that they agreed, then they all looked to Fury, who was sitting there with an amused look on his face. He then announced, _**"Alright then it is settled when on missions or not in this tower, Grant you are to be referred to as the 'Shadow Strike' now everyone go suit up, this mission is a go, wheels up in 2 hours."**_

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><p>Meanwhile on the BUS<p>

"_**Hello Skye what is it?"**_ Phil asked, he wasn't expecting to see Skye tonight, he and Melinda had been going over the report for the last mission and were now talking about each person's individual performance.

"_Well you know those symbols you have been carving?"_ Skye replied, whilst taking the laptop from under her arm and putting it onto the table.

"_**Yes Skye what about them?"**_ Phil continued, he wasn't sure where Skye was going with this, ever since he found the ones that Garrett had been carving, he had not been able to get them out of his mind, he was sure that he was descending into madness at this stage.

"_Well I put them into an algorithm on my laptop, and I got a hit, it looks like the symbols are a map of sort, but it isn't flat, its three dimensional, I have the features running now across the globe so as soon as we find then place we will be able to go there."_ Skye replied getting more and more excited as she continued to talk.

Phil jumps out of his seat and he and Melinda walk over to the laptop and it does indeed look like the symbols are a map to somewhere, he turns to Skye and says, _**"That is really good work Skye, you have done fantastic work on this, now let me know when something pops on the scan. But for now go get some sleep, we going to need the rest."**_

"_Thanks AC, sure thing I will go now and try and rest, I will see you guys in the morning." _And as she left, Phil turned to Melinda and said, _**"You know that this is the temple for that diviner thing right?"**_ She nodded, _**"Well, something tells me that we don't actually want to go there anymore, something feels off about it."**_

"_**I agree Phil, but you know as well as I do that Skye has to go there, she and the Diviner are linked, it will give her powers."**_

From just outside the door Skye gasped, she couldn't believe what she was hearing what did they mean give her powers? Just then the door opened and Phil paled when he saw Skye standing there, _**"Skye I think it is time I told you the truth."**_

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><p>AN: So that is it for Chapter five, what do you guys think, how do you feel about Skye having been left out of the loop of the Diviner info. what did you guys think of the name I gave Ward?<p> 


	6. The Woods

AN: Hey everyone I would just like to start by saying that I really appreciate those who have taken the time to review the story, I always like to hear what people are thinking about it.

Also as always I do not own anything made by Marvel.

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><p>Wyoming wood 15 years ago…<p>

It was cold, that was all that he could think about, he couldn't stop himself from shivering as he pounded by the rain falling. He was left, abandoned alone in these infernal woods by someone he had started to trust. John, that was his name, John Garrett, he had saved him, John had pulled him out of hell, he had promised to make Grant strong, strong enough that no one would mess with him again. Grant thought about the hell he had been in, he had driven back from military school and burned down the family house, he had been so angry; his older brother Christian was torturous towards him and his younger brother Dan, beating them, leaving them out in the cold. The final straw had been when Christian had forced Dan into the well and wouldn't let Grant throw a rope down to save him, Dan almost died that day and Christian blamed Grant and of course his parents believed Christian. So they had sent him away and he had stewed on it for a few months, before he committed the crime, he didn't realise that Christian was still in the house and he almost died this time.

John had shown up at the juvenile detention centre and told him that his parents and Christian were trying to get him tried as an adult. This scared Grant because he knew what that would mean, he would be in prison for a long time, but John had offered him freedom, a chance to be strong, and he had only given grant 10 seconds to decide. So Grant had gone with him and that's how he ended up like this, huddled under a group of trees with the only thing that John had left him with, a dog named Buddy. He cuddled in closer with buddy when he felt the dog shiver next to him and he began to wonder if John was ever going to come back.

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><p>6 months later still in the Wyoming woods…<p>

"Hey son, you there?" John called out from the entrance to the cabin (a decent one at that) and John was impressed that in the 6 months that he had left him it looked like Grant had gotten over the initial shock of being left alone to fend for himself and Buddy and been able to think logically (build the cabin) and had obviously survived. Not only had he survived he had adjusted so well that he probably went and raided the cabins a few miles away and took tools and other supplies by the look of it.

John was about to open the door to the cabin when a hand pressed on his shoulder and a knife was held to his throat, he had to hand it to the kid he was more than what he had expected and what he had been told about. He had been told that the kid was special and that Hydra would need him loyal to them later but John had wanted to test that for himself. Then he thought about it, the kid had been able to sneak up behind him, a skill he had thought wouldn't develop until it was trained into him, he must have learnt on his own that to catch food he would need to be stealthy.

"What are you doing here?" Grant spat at him, "Where the fuck have you been, you said a month tops you'd be gone for, well that turned into 6 months, why?"

Another skill that impressed John, it was exactly 6 months from when he had left him here, to the day, so he to have enhanced ability to track time. "Well kid I was caught up internationally for work, so don't you go giving me attitude alright. Don't you ever forget that without me you would be rotting in that prison, it was me that saved you, me that took it out of my time to get you and give you a chance?" Grant's arm slackened at that and he apologised saying, "I'm sorry for doubting you."

Garrett smiled at this, at last a weakness, he whirled around shoving the kids arm out of the way before landing a punch to his ribs, he heard the crack that went along with them being fractured and he smirked. Then whilst Grant was bent over trying to protect his ribs from another hit, John punched him in the face, again hearing the crack of bones breaking.

"Whad the Hell Wad that for?" Grant tried to yell though his broken jaw made it difficult, and his ribs weren't exactly helping either.

"That was the first of many lessons kid on your way to toughening up, down let your guard down, don't apologise and don't you ever doubt me again kid. I am going to make you strong, strong enough that no one will ever be able to break you again." John replied with a sick smile, and he delivered another blow to Grant's ribs, on the other side this time and for the third time in 10 minutes he heard the crack of breaking bones.

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><p>Back in the present on the plane going towards Wyoming…<p>

As Grant pulled himself out of the flash back, his ribs twinging, a reminder of what had happened to him in the woods. It appeared as though he had dozed off on the couch, he remembered that he and Natasha had been watching a movie, and he then noticed that she was asleep, he head was resting on his lap and she had her feet tucked up on the couch beneath her. This made him smile as he remembered the last time that he had woken up like this.

_7 years ago in Portland…_

_He was just getting home after a mission, a mission with Garrett, and unfortunately it had gone sideways at the last minute and it almost failed. He had been compromised at the final stage of the mission and as a result Garrett had almost been shot, he was then reminded on the plane ride home what it meant to fail Garrett, he winced as his ribs ached as he remembered the pain._

_"Nat, I'm home." He called out down the hall and placed his keys in the bowl on the table next to the door._

_"Hey babe, how did it go?" Natasha asked when he made it to the living room, she placed a kiss on his lips that she intended only as a brief, welcome home kiss but Grant deepened it quickly until grant had to drop his bag and moved them towards the couch._

_"So that bad huh?" Natasha joked when they broke apart for air after tumbling onto the couch._

_"Pretty much yeah, the mission went sideways right at the last minute and I was compromised and John almost shot, but we got it done in the end." Grant replied scratching the back of his head. He then leaned in and kissed her again, he was about to start taking her top off when he remembered his ribs, he gently broke the kiss off and asked her "Have you eaten yet?"_

_"Nah I was just finishing up making it for us when you walking through the door." She replied, pecking him on the cheek before getting up and going to get the food for them both to eat on the couch. Whilst she went to do that Grant turned the TV on and started a movie for them both to watch, it was Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, they both settled back into the couch and ate whilst laughing at parts of the movie, Grant tried not to laugh as much as it hurt his ribs. At some point in the movie Natasha had fallen asleep and was lying on the couch, her feet tucked in behind her and her head was on his lap, as the movie was finishing he noticed that he had started to play with her hair, curling it in his fingers, he turned the TV off and scooped her up mindful of his ribs, and he then carried her into their bedroom, he placed her gently on top of the bed whilst he pulled of her sweatpants, not wanting her to overheat during the night before he then took his pants off so that he was just in his boxers and peeled back the covers beneath her, he then hopped under the covers and pulled them over her as well and he drifted off to sleep after kissing her on the cheek._

Shaking himself out of a second flashback today Grant noticed that he had started to play with Natasha's hair, he was again curling it between his fingers and this brought a smile to his face. It was then that Natasha woke up and said "hmmm don't stop that feels good Grant." She looked up at him and saw him smiling so she started to smile as well, she had always loved the feeling of him curling her hair like that, it was soothing and really quite intimate, to be so comfortable with someone to allow them to play with your hair was something she hadn't felt since they had to break their relationship off 5 years ago. She then asked him, "So what's up, what's got you looking so happy?"

Grant was startled that he had woken her up and as a result dropped his hands from her hair and replied. "I was just thinking back to the last time I woke up after us watching a movie and you were asleep on my lap. You know back when we were together, it reminded me of that time I came home from a mission and we sat eating dinner on the couch and watched Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, during that movie you fell asleep on my lap as well."

"I remember that night, you stopped us from taking our kissing further, I could tell that you were going to start taking my top off but you held back and then asked if I had eaten just to change the topic, can I ask why?" Natasha asked really curious as to why that happened.

"Well I had to stop us, because if we had gone any further we would have ended up having sex, not that that was bad or wrong but I couldn't let you see my ribs, you remember that mission I came home from?" He paused until Natasha nodded her head, "Well remember how I said it had gone sideways and ended up almost failing?" again he waited for her to nod, " Well when stuff like that happened with John he would punish you, and that was always a physical punishment, it was a reminder to never let him down. In that case it happened to be that he fractured three or four of my ribs. So obviously if we had gone on to have sex you would have seen it, that time it was a fist shaped bruise that formed so you definitely would have asked questions about that and I tried to never lie to you."

Natasha looked horrified that anyone could be subjected to that sort of torture within SHIELD it was starting to make her doubt that the system ever worked. She then asked him, did that sort of thing happen often for you?"

"I tried hard not to let him down much, but it for one reason or another happened a lot more than what I would be willing to admit. And anyways I was used to it by then, for me the punishment started when he found me as a teenager." Grant replied, a dark look flashing through his eyes as he thought about the beating that he had received from John all of those years ago in the woods.

This time Natasha actually gasped, "What do you mean that it started when he got to you as a teenager, surely he wasn't hitting you when you were a child?"

Grant nodded and said, "Actually he did, the first time he came back after he had left me for 6 months, on my own, he broke 5 ribs and my jaw and then just laughed and said that this was his way of toughening me up and teaching me to be strong."

"Actually that's what I was dreaming about before I woke up and saw you lying on me." He continued. With that Natasha leant up and brushed her lips against his, the kiss was so soft; it was like a butterfly beating its wings against his lips. They then pulled apart and started to blush because they had forgotten that they were no longer together.

Before Grant could ask what the kiss had meant to her Natasha asked him "Grant, I know it's been forever since we had to end our relationship because our work got in the way but I want you to know that I still have feelings for you, so I guess what I'm asking is, is if you would want to try for us again?" Natasha could not remember a time she had been so nervous, even when the Chitauri were attacking in New York she was more confident. She honestly did not know what she would do if he said he did not want a relationship with her again.

"Nat, of course I still have feelings for you, I'm going to be honest with you now, I was probably the most honest and true to myself in the years that we were together, so much so that I was actually getting ready to ask you to marry me when we had to split up."

Natasha couldn't believe it, he was going to ask her to marry him that would have been huge, and she had to ask though, "So if you had proposed would you have abandoned Garrett and Hydra for me?"

"Nat, you were the first thing that I had ever wanted for myself, I would have done anything to have asked you to marry me, and I would have killed Garrett on the spot if that had meant marrying you. And as for trying again now I would love to try us again." He replied leaning in to seal it with a kiss.

Natasha sighed into the kiss; she was firstly relieved that he wanted to be with her again but that he would have done anything to be with her. They were starting to deepen the kiss when Steve walked in and said "Hey guys, wheels down in 10, get ready." He then walked out as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Both Grant and Natasha pulled apart and looked sheepishly towards each other about being caught by Steve, Grant leaned in and kissed her again before they went to their separate bunks to do final checks of their gear and to get their final preparations done.

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><p>Meanwhile on the BUS<p>

"What do you mean the truth AC?" Skye asked, she was completely confused by what Coulson had just been telling Melinda about her, even though she knows she shouldn't have been eavesdropping she had a right to know.

"Well Skye it's just that we may not have been entirely honest with you lately." Coulson replied, he was understandably nervous about this and how it would all play out, he hadn't planned on Skye finding out about this for quite some time yet.

"What do you mean, what have been hiding from me?" Skye yelled, accusation dripping from her voice as the tears welled up and started to make their way down her face. "Is it something about my parents, like who they were?" She asked, she had to know now, both hoping it was as it would finally give her something to follow but hoping it wasn't because she didn't know if she would be able to handle AC keeping something about her parents from her.

"Yes Skye it is, but I need you to understand…" but before he could finish Skye whispered, "How could you, I've thought of you as the father I never had but I guess I just mean nothing to you guys, I'm just another soldier to you." She then ran out of the office before he could say another word, trying to get as far away from them as she possibly could.

"What have we done Mel? She probably hates us right now; all she has ever wanted was to find information that could help her to discover who she is, who her parents were and why they gave her up. And to make this worse I promised to help her, to tell her if I ever found anything as soon as I found it." Phil exclaimed he was pacing his office frantically; he was distraught at the thought that Skye could no longer trust him to look out for her.

Mel just looked over to him and said as calmly as she could because she too was worried that she had lost any hope of being trusted by Skye, "Phil, you need to calm down, getting worked up about this won't help anyone, it certainly is not going to earn your trust back." And once he had slightly calmed down she continued, "For tonight we are going to have to let her be, to let her sleep on it, because it we go to her now she only going to hate us more. We will talk to her in the morning when we get back to the Playground and we can smooth things over with her then ok."

Phil nodded his agreement to her plan; he recognised that in this state he was only going to make things worse, he could also tell that Melinda was worried as well. He left his office shortly after that to go to his bunk and to sleep on it himself because right now he was too exhausted to do anything.

* * *

><p>Wyoming woods…<p>

Grant stepped out of the cargo ramp and into the clearing below, he moved towards the tree line and was joined there by Natasha, Steve and Clint, the last of which said, "Alright Shadow Strike this is it, right in the middle of these damn woods." As he pointed on the map to where they were, "This is where we believe that the base is and is where we need to be as soon as possible ok, how long do reckon it will take?"

Grant looked easily between where they were and needed to go and looked at the path that would take the shortest amount of time, once he realised what it would mean he paled slightly for a second before replying. "About a day and a half, but there is a cabin here," as he pointed to the map so that everyone could see where he was indicating, "That has three rooms for us that we can stay the night in."

"How come this cabin of yours is not on my map, not on registered buildings or anything?" Clint asked his brow furrowed.

"I only know about it Hawkeye because I built the damn thing, 15 years ago when I was here the first time, that's where I lived. And that was the idea, so that no one could find it, I seriously doubt even Hydra knew it existed."

Everyone paused then to take in the implications of what Grant had just said, he was willingly going back to ground zero for him, and he did not even look like breaking a sweat. "Right then let's make for the cabin and we'll stay there tonight." Clint said

As they began walking, Grant leading the way, Natasha quickened her pace and moved up beside him, took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, they looked at each other briefly, smiling, and before she asked quietly so that none of the others could hear them, "Are you going to be alright going back and staying there?"

Again he looked down towards her and smiled before responding in a voice equally quiet, "Yeah I'll be ok, it will probably bring back some old memories and sleep will be pretty hard to come by, but Nat, this time it won't be so bad, I have you now to help me."

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon…<p>

"Alright everyone here we are, this is the cabin, there is a cupboard in every room to put your stuff and whilst you guys do that, I am going to go get some firewood ok." Grant declared as they came into view of a fairly large cabin, he was right there were indeed three bedrooms by the look of it from the outside.

Clint was dumbfounded by the size, he turned to grant before he could leave to get the firewood, "And you built this all by yourself," when Grant nodded he continued, "How long did it take, like a year, more?"

This time he shook his head, "three weeks, for the lot." Clint also shook his head,

"That's not possible."

"I think you would find the prospect of either dying of hypothermia, frostbite or being drenched every night as a driving motivator gets you going a lot harder for longer to do whatever it took to get it done."

That's when the reality of his situation sunk into everyone, they could tell by the dark look now etched across his face that this was affecting Grant a lot more than he wanted them to know. Grant then spun on his heel and walked off into the woods.

* * *

><p>That night Grant and Nat were asleep when Grant began to toss in his sleep, she woke as soon as she felt him moving more agitated and could tell he was in pain, he was sweating and it looked like he was in physical pain. Then he was just still, barely breathing and as white as a ghost, he woke after a few minutes and Natasha asked him "What was it about?"<p>

He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and sat up in the bed, he then closed his eyes and told her, "It was the first time that he properly tortured me, as a way of building my resistance; he hooked me up to a car battery and electrocuted me for what seemed like hours."

She just nodded her head and then pulled him back down so that he was lying down properly and then pulled him into a tight embrace, and just snuggled in with him, letting him know that she as there and that Garrett was gone and that he could not hurt him anymore. He just accepted what she was doing and just as he was about to fall asleep he kissed her on the temple and said "Thank you."

* * *

><p>Once they had all woken, showered, dressed and eaten the next morning, they assembled in the living room of the cabin, they sat down and Grant started, "Ok this is what is going to happen at the base, we are going to split up, Steve, you will go with Clint and assault from the back, Nat and I will go through the front door." Clint then interrupted,<p>

"And how exactly are you going to go through the front door?"

"Easy, I am going to pretend I am Hydra again and that I have caught Nat, I will have her 'handcuffed' and after we are inside she will break free and we will start to bring it down, that is when you guys will go in the back and start from there, we will then meet up in the main server room, take whatever intel there is and then plant the bombs and escape."

Clint looked a little uneasy but had to admit it was a solid plan, but he had to make sure, "And you are sure you will be able to convince them that you are hydra again?"

"That is the part I was hoping to wait to tell right until the end but now is as good a time as any, yes I will be able to convince them, I will have to undergo some 'questioning' for them to accept it."

Natasha instantly knew what he meant by that and protested, "No Grant we are not letting you intentionally get tortured just to bring this place down."

Grant just smiled at her before stating, "This was always the plan it is inevitable, Fury knew this when he asked me to help, that I would have to do stuff like this, I will do whatever I have to to bring Hydra to its knees and then I will kill them myself."

Natasha was not happy and would be having a word with Fury when all of this was over, but for now she just moved on because she knew that Grant would be tough enough to handle it.

* * *

><p>When they got to the base all they could see was a huge white building surrounded by a massive 5 metre tall cement and barbed wire fence that had an electric current passing through the top, Grant signalled for Clint and Steve to head to the rear of the facility and to wait for his word to breach. To Grant this facility looked like so many other hydra bases that he had been to, he remembered the first time he was brought to one by Garrett, it was just before entering SHIELD, he went to the one in Havana and that was also the first time that they 'questioned' his loyalties and his intentions. He still shuddered at the memories of the wires being attached to his body, two on each arm, four on each leg, six across his torso and two on his head. Each time he lied or was not clear on an answer the machine would detect it and would send electricity coursing through him, he had not screamed the first couple of times, he wanted to show John how strong he was, to make him proud, and he had seen it, John had smiled that day when he only started to scream after the fifth course of electricity passed through his body.<p>

He recollected himself as he heard Clint through his earpiece, "Alright Shadow Strike we are ready just give the word."

Grant then acknowledged that and took his earpiece out, Natasha did the same but put hers in her bra so that once she had broken free she could hear what was happening with the others.

Grant then walked up to the front gate with Natasha handcuffed and looked directly at the camera and showed her the cuffed hands of Natasha, what Natasha had not noticed until then was then he was bleeding already, she looked to him and said "Why the hell are you bleeding."

He grimaced not actually wanting her to have seen that, "Well they are not going to believe that you surrendered without a fight now are they?"

At that point the gate buzzed open and they walked to the front door of the facility, Grant behind her to make it look like that he was pushing her. Once they were inside a short man with a receding hairline came striding out to meet them, "Ah Mr. Ward how nice to see that you escaped that infernal prison of theirs, and it looks like you even brought back a gift as well. Excellent Garrett did speak very highly of you after all, we knew it would only be a matter of time before you came and took your rightful place at the head of these compounds."

"Of course Strablonki, it was only a matter of time before I got out, this is of course the famous Black Widow, I am sure I will be able to make her comply." Grant smiled at that and Strablonki shared that smile before grant continued, "But first I need you to take me in for 'questioning' at this Strablonki even looked shocked, "But why sir, we would never doubt your loyalties."

"Well you should, that is what got SHIELD into trouble and I will not have that here, I will be 'questioned' and you will follow protocol alright."

"Yes sir of course, this way then." They then followed Strablonki down the hall and into what looked like a lab, but it had a machine that had wires coming out of it everywhere, he knew that he could beat it, but it did not mean that Grant thought it would not hurt because it would. He was then attached to the machine by Strablonki, who explained that with every lie the machine would detect it and send an electric pulse to every part of his body. And Grant told him that he knew all of that already, he was the first to be tested by this measure remember.

Strablonki then started the questions; he started with easy ones like how did he escape prison and where Garrett had taken him for his first mission. He passed those ones easy, but then he asked if he was loyal to Hydra and Grant responded with, yes, that was when the first shock passed through him, he just clenched his teeth before Strablonki repeated who are you loyal to? He again responded but this time he changed his answer to someone within Hydra, the machine accepted that answer so they moved on to the next question after half an hour he had been shocked seven times and not once made a sound. He then told Strablonki, that's enough I have more than proven more loyalties here, let us move on alright, Strablonki breathed a sigh of relief he did not really want to have to kill his superior five minutes after he got there.

As they walked down the hall again this time after Grant had asked for a tour of the facility before agreeing that this was the right one to keep Natasha in, he whispered barely audible, now Hawkeye, get in the compound and start your work. Natasha then hit him and broke free, she then knocked Strablonki unconscious and ran over to Grant, "Hey are you ok?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah I told you I would be fine did I not?" Grant replied, grinning, and then grimacing.

They then head the wail of the alarm to signal that Clint and Steve were in, they then started to pave their way through the multitude of soldiers and made it to the server room just as Steve and Clint rounded the corner, when they got inside Nat started the hack whilst Grant, Steve and Clint set up the explosives, once they had finished they got out of the facility and detonated the charges, the whole building came down at once, leaving just a pile of rubble on the ground. They then made the call for an evac and waited approximately an hour for it to come.

* * *

><p>Once on board Grant took the hard drive that Nat had put the files on and plugged it into a laptop, he started looking through the files, most were just on the base and its operations but then he saw something that made his heart heavy. He looked at the screen, he saw that the files were for San Juan and that that was where the Symbols and Carving that Garrett had seen was leading them to, he then read that there was something called a diviner which would induce something called terragenesis. Then he saw three names linked to the files, and he let out an audible gasp to which Nat, Steve and Clint looked up immediately, saw the look of distress and confusion on his face and rushed over to him, looked over his shoulder at the screen and they also gaped at what they read.<p>

Underneath the data on San Juan it read:

Subjects suspected for possible compatibility of terragenesis (i.e. those with the ability to change)

Raina (No surname on file)

Skye (No Surname on file)

But it was the last name on the list that everyone was shocked about and could not believe.

Grant Ward

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><p>AN: Hey so that is the end of yet another chapter, this one took a while due to it being a longer chapter and once i started it I just had to keep making small adjustments.<p>

So as always please review let me know what you thought of the chapter.


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